Good Questions Have Small Groups Talking -- Holiness
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Boundaries and accountability are crucial! Have friends guys for guys and girls for girls who you are committed to being completely vulnerable and honest with and who will ask you the tough questions about your purity every week. And when you set boundaries like having a curfew for dates, not being alone at night, etc. You should also think back and think ahead. The point is to be prepared. Set your boundaries and bring other people into them to help hold you accountable and to confess to when you mess up.
Set boundaries, probably even more strictly than you did when you were dating! For everyone I know who is married, sexual temptation only got worse once they got engaged. And you still have a duty to protect each other and encourage each other to pursue the Lord.
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And crucial in these boundaries you have with each other will be accountability. Go on double dates to minimize the temptations of being alone. Also, shorter engagements can help with this. Most weddings can be planned in months. The longer your engagement is, the more time you have to struggle with these things. If you can plan a fun, God-glorifying wedding in months and start your lives together sooner, why spend months planning and stressing and being tempted?
And however long your engagement is, get yourselves in some biblical premarital counseling. Having an older couple mentor you through the process of getting married will help you prepare better for future conflicts, will help you work out some issues before getting married, and will add another level of accountability during your engagement.
God :: The Attributes of God
Every stage of our lives is a time for the Lord to grow us in our relationships with others and with Him. There are some things that are better than in dating, most notably the fact that there is much more emotional safety in the commitment of a marriage as opposed to a dating relationship.
But we are all sinners and every stage in our lives will be full of opportunities to put our own sinful desires ahead of our holiness.
God designed sex for marriage. He designed it as a way to show the unity that a husband and wife have in marriage, and He is a good God so He also made it fun. Whether that comes in the form of tempting you to be selfish and therefore not wanting to serve your partner sexually, or whether he attacks your insecurities and makes you unwilling to be vulnerable with your spouse, or anything in between, Satan will try to make you not want to do something that you wanted to do so badly before you got married.
So purity in your relationships is always going to be a struggle! It just might take different form in different stages of your life.
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Depending on where one person is wanting to draw that line, at some point this could be rape. Being alone will be better than being with someone like this. What do I do if my boyfriend keeps letting us cross physical boundaries but is an otherwise God-loving guy? Hunt suggests asking these basic questions interspersed with more complex questions relating to the meaning of the text.
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After considering what a Bible passage states, Hunt suggests exploring the meaning of the text. Questions about meaning may include these:. Hunt encourages teachers to use various resources and methods to delve into the meaning of the text. Research the words or topics prior to the session to guide class members in gaining an understanding of the text. However, we may have experienced fear and conflict when choosing sides or navigating complex situations.
Again, responses help us understand the story better and gives us empathy for the characters and ourselves. At the start of a game, the basketball is tossed between selected representatives of each team. The tallest players usually the centers are often these reps and they compete to claim the first possession of the ball, generally by jumping as high as possible to tip the ball to a teammate. Instead of determining who should take possession of the ball through reasoning, the teams take turns.
John Piper describes the value of reconciling two superficially opposing ideas in his article How to Read the Bible for Yourself :.
When I feel tension between two verses or passages, I never assume the Bible is inconsistent. If I have not seen enough to explain the apparent inconsistency, asking more questions will likely help me see more. So, jump-ball questions encourage group members to wrestle with the truth. These are the source of the liveliest conversations and, often, the most profound.
Identifying how to apply the Bible to our lives is the next step, a critical and essential one to life change and transformation.
To inspire your group members and yourself to think about and act upon change, consider questions like these:. In Good Questions Have Small Groups Talking , Hunt explains why he asks people what they want to do rather than telling them what to do. His position is that people commit and stick with what they want to do, not what they should do. He also discusses rationale for questions, offers examples from his life in ministry, and addresses common concerns of teachers. Good Questions Have Small Groups Talking shows small group leaders and Sunday School teachers how to develop questions to ask people in their groups or classes.
Your email address will not be published. Here's what you need to get people talking and inspire them to grow. Plus, you'll learn approaches on dealing with uncomfortable situations. Here you'll find resources for studying the Bible. These can help you with your own study or facilitating a Bible study with a small group.
Here's how to live in community and nurture community among your friends, family, neighbors, and small group members. Get people talking about things that matter, build Christian community, grow together, and find joy in leading a group. Sign up for weekly updates or schedule a talk with me.